I'm sat here holding my pen, not sure what to write. Everything I write in this post will be like a contract with a digital seal of acknowledgement that I feel I can't, nor won't go back on. So before I sign on the dotted line, I'm going to quickly nibble on my last tortilla chips because I won't be for a while.
There are many reasons why I am at this point in my life and why I feel the need to write this post; so let me try and explain why in a nutshell.
When I started university I was a comfortable size UK 8-10. I walked to and from work, plus managed to fit in yoga and rowing machine sessions each week. I felt healthy with loads of energy and confidence. When I started my teacher training I didn't have the time for workouts and due to a change of work (and numerous bags of marking) walking to work wasn't an option. Along with the 'study snacks' (curse Haribo!) I put on weight. At the time I didn't notice, it was a slow weight gain, that I could blame on the shops' resizing of clothes sizes. I then met Daddy Day and I was happy.
By this point I had found many reasons, sorry, excuses as to why I couldn't exercise; study, work, housework, I've broke my leg. Okay so I didn't use the last one but I have probably come close. For the last few months however, I have had key moments where I have realised that the unhealthy, unfit me was affecting my life in different ways... and I needed to try and get the healthy me back.
1) One day in March the boys wanted to go out for a big cycle ride. We had all got new bikes and the boys were itching to ride them. The weather was perfect and off we went. 20 minutes later (I didn't even make it to our mid-point destination) and I was gasping for breath, sweating and feeling like I left my dignity back in the shed where the bikes are kept. I had to sit on a wall as I watched the boys race on. At that moment I felt like the worst mother in the world, and that made me angry. This was no one else's fault but my own....
2) In May it was cemented how heavy and unfit I had become. I am a lover of retro style dresses and cute cardigans and was getting ready to choose which one to wear for a family wedding. When it came to trying on my dresses, not one of them would fit... Hmph, obviously Daddy Day had shrunk them somehow! So off I went shopping, telling anyone who would listen that they don't make dress sizes for the 'modern woman'. On the day of the wedding, deep down I knew the dress didn't suit me, I didn't feel confident because it wasn't a dress I would normally wear, the dress wasn't me. It sounds silly but it zapped my self-esteem.
After we got the photos of the wedding back, I didn't know what to say - I didn't recognise the woman in the photo. I don't look like that, surely?! That day the slow realisation had hit me, no wonder I couldn't ride to the coast and no wonder the woman in Debenhams had rolled her eyes at me for moaning about the dress sizing. I had become unhealthy and I hadn't realised how much!
3) As you might know from one of our previous posts - Trying For A Baby we are trying to add to our family. Because we are over 35 and because of previous complications I spoke to my doctor about our next steps to help our fertility chances. One of the first things she said was to eat healthy and to lose weight. Instead of shaking my head and letting the double chin wobble and be shocked at such a suggestion - I knew it was the green light to really change my life, ready for my new chapter.
Over the next months I will be sharing my eating and exercising challenges and thoughts each week, in many ways to help me make sure that I stick to my targets. Are any of you on a health kick? Can you remember when you first started? What did you find difficult? What advice would you give yourself if you started again?
Update: I have now bought a blender for both health and diet reasons and will be reviewing it over the next few weeks.
"Great things are done by a series of small things brought together"
(Vincent Van Gogh)
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xx Family Of The Day xx